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18

Gorgonzola puts you through the Trials of Admittance, which consist of such tasks as pulling 10 meat out of his ear, and making a sandwich using only the power of your mind. Long story short, you pass. Short story long? Anything by Dickens. Anyway, Gorgonzola smiles benevolently at you. “Welcome to the League of Chef‐Magi, Adventurer. I sense that you will make an excellent Pastamancer.”

Brie, the Trainer

A female wizard wielding a large pasta‐spoon approaches and Gorgonzola introduces her as Brie, the League’s trainer. Over the net few hours, she teaches you the basics of Noodlecraft, as well as an offensive spell called “Minor Ray of Something”, which will probably come in handy, otherwise we wouldn’t have bothered to tell you about it. She then hands you your official pasta‐spoon, and says “Good luck in your travels, adventurer. If you haven’t already, I suggest you visit the Council of Loathing, as they may have a quest or something for you. They usually do.”